We have all seen it. We have all experienced it. When someone we once respected disappoints us we climb to the highest mountain and declare our disappointment to the world while others sit back and wait for karma to do her job. However we handle disappointment it leaves a scalding sting.
You’ll end up really disappointed if you think people will do for you as you do for them…” Unknown
But how do you handle disappointment while grieving? How do you handle disappointment during a time when you are at your most vulnerable and desperately need additional TLC?
Pain deserves acknowledgement not repair. We live in a society were grief and death are taboo. Society has no idea on how to handle grief. For many non-grievers they have a strong urge to “fix” you. They want you to “feel better.” When in reality a grieving person is not sick, you can only be there for them.
The massive void in my heart has taken up permanent residency. It’s a void that only my father can fill.
Losing my Dad has altered my life forever.
I will never be the same.
We shared beautiful memories that were ours. Memories that shaped our relationship and are forever a part of me.
In the four months that my Dad is gone he would be happy to see how so many friends and family have been so kind and compassionate. He would be upset and shocked at the individuals who fanned the flames of gossip during the darkest moments of his family’s existence. They didn’t have the patience and the compassion to support us.
Because I am my father’s daughter I forgive them. I pity them for their weakness and ignorance. For they will never know the definition of pure, unconditional love.
Losing my Dad has changed my view of the world. My grief has forced me to reevaluate relationships and prioritize my life.
I will not allow my disappointment to cloud my grief. I will never be the same now that my Dad is gone. I am now someone who has lost a parent, a best friend, my hero. One of the greatest challenges of losing a parent is that so few really understand. Oh sure, people SAY they understand but if they truly did understand would they gossip and judge because you are not grieving to their standards?
Grief won’t win. Disappointment won’t win.
Dad, I promise you that you will always be remembered and loved.
I am your daughter. I will be your voice, I will share your story, I will share the brave battle you fought. As long as I have breath in me, I will be your living, breathing legacy.
I will let go of my disappointment and simply be sad as I mourn the loss of my hero.