Congratulations on your accomplishment! What a wonderful milestone!!! You endured sleepless nights, endless blood, sweat and tears. You worked hard to get where you are and I’m proud of you.
Thank you for the invite to toast your happiness, but I must respectfully decline.
Actually, I do not have to do anything. When you read my letter I hope you can understand why.
I’m sure you are aware that my father recently passed after a long, difficult illness. As a matter of fact, I know you are aware. There was a point where I inundated my social media with hospital selfies with my Dad, you even put a little sad face emoji on one of them.
I’ve sent you holiday cards, birthday cards, attended your numerous celebrations, I have even taken time off from my job to attend your functions. All while my father was dying.
My happiness is a limited resource right now, and I must use it wisely. You had almost four months to send a card, call or text. Anything! Just acknowledge my loss the way I have acknowledged your milestones in life.
For the first few weeks I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I checked the mail daily only to find nothing. I double checked my voice and text messages in case I may have missed something. Only to find silence.
Is my grief not as significant as your fourth marriage? Or the birth of your child? Or your graduation? Or your housewarming party where somehow I was duped into purchasing Pampered Chef items I really didn’t need from you? Congratulations by the way those are all wonderful milestones. However, unlike your multiple marriages I’m unable to replace my father. I mean I can’t exactly go on Match.com and find a new Dad. And I’m not judging, I’m divorced myself. I just thought after years of “friendship” you were aware of the bond I fused with my father and the incredible amount of pain I’m in. I didn’t just lose my father, I lost my best friend.
I thought our friendship was a two way street.
I thought you respected me enough to acknowledge my father’s passing.
I thought you respected our friendship enough to acknowledge my father’s passing.
I’m sorry my grief makes you uncomfortable, it makes me uncomfortable all the time. My grief is a reminder that I have loved deeply and grieve the joys that once were and never will be. It’s a reminder that I was blessed to have a magnificent man I proudly called “Daddy” throughout my life.
Grief is messy, unpredictable and never ending. Grief forces you to reevaluate the relationships in your life. I need to surround myself with people who are there for me not just for the good times, but the bad times too.
I wish you well, I wish you happiness however, I cannot attend your celebration.